1. Welcome to your interview Michael.
Thanks, Wendy
2. First off, tell everyone how awesome I am!
What the hell? What kind of interview is this? Now you're typing all that. I see. You're a 27 awesome. Awesomes? It needs to be a scale or unit. A, uh, segal. Like Stephen. You are 27 Segals. Of awesome.
3. Out of what?
It's open-ended. It's like saying like 100 degrees out of what? It's not clear how it works.
4. Okay. Um, Thanks for clearing that up. So do you have any predictions for the coming holiday season for us?
Um. The trendy toy will be....ahh...I don't know.
5. 27?
I don't even know what that means.
6. No one does. That's the point.
I don't get kids these days.
7. That's probably not a subscription you want.
Oh I get it.
8. Anyway. What's your favorite Internet site?
Um. *sigh* I don't have like a favorite. Boing Boing is pretty good. I like reading everything on Boing Boing. I'm pretty excited abut Gmail right now too. Gmail is a good thing.
9. Because you get 27 messages from me a day?
It has nothing to do with the number 27.
10. It does now. Michael, what do you do for a living?
I work a computer at a print shop.
11. So...you just hit buttons?
That's kind of like asking a surgeon, "So you just cut people up?" While it's technically true, it doesn't really describe the work.
12. What is your favorite smell?
Pizza.
13. What is your favorite food?
I suppose that's pizza too. I think pizza is the perfect food.
14.Sorry we had to stop to debate something. Anyway. If Christopher Walken and I were in a fight, not a battle of the wits, mind you, who would win. Bear in mind, my slapping ability.
Is it a dance fight?
15.NO. We're not in middle school eating corn dog pizza.
Please to answer.
Even if it's not a dance fight, I think Christopher Walken would win, but by a much narrower margin.
16. Hmm. I'm just thinking about my slapping ability, but okay. You have a cricket right now, for a pet. Not on purpose, but still...Will you miss it when it's gone?
I won't miss him. He's not very affectionate.
17. Do you kind of want like a small pet that's cricket sized?
No.
18. Why not? Maybe something cuddlier?
I'm not really in a pet kind of place in life these days.
19. If you were, what would you get?
A small, mellow dog.
20. You know those don't exist, right?
No, I've seen 'em. My grandparents had a black poodle for a very long time named Bertha. It was very sweet.
21. You should get a toy poodle and carry it in one of those Camelback water bladders.
I'm neither gay nor retarded.
22. Oh that's right. You've a few years to go before you quit working. OH! What are you wearing to Bernadette's wedding?
Hmmm. What kind of wedding is it?
23.Cool, of course. It takes place at an organic farm and then the reception is at an art gallery. The Rembrandt House in Boulder.
Course brown jacket with stitching, a mustard yellow shirt, dark jeans, Doc Martens (in funny voice).
24. Neat! Now I can plan my outfit! Now after 24 question let's get down to brass tacks. How many drug charges have you been brought up on?
Zero. Is that unusual? That's not funny.
25.How serious are you about your filing system?
80% serious. Do you want to know more about it?
26. Yes!
I never throw any bills away. I think I have my bills from the last four years stapled by year in filing cabinet B and all of this year's bills in filing cabinet A. I have kept almost all of my pay stubs ever.
27. Wow. That's impressive.
Not really. Doesn't that lie in the realm of unneccesarily obsessive? I mean, who has all their pay slips forever? Who has last weeks payslips? I guess some people have them for the year. I figure what the hell I'll just keep it.
28. If you're ever audited, you'll be so okay! But you'll never be audited. So, okay!
29. You and I share a habit of collecting concert and music concert tickets. How many would you say you have now?
I don't see a lot of movies in theatres so I wouldn't say I have a lot of them, but they cover a long history. 100? Maybe 100? 6th sense! Heat! Hard Five? What would that be? What else is interesting? The first one is Memoirs of an Invisible Man. I decided to keep tickets when I watched it with my parents. Fierce Creatures! Fifth Element! Last of the Mohicans. Maverick. Illegible (note: not a movie). Wing Commander! That is the prize. That is the most important one of all.
30. How cool is it that you share a name with a horror movie monster? Or serial killer?
Ohhh. Just because my first name is Michael. There are lots of people named Michael. My name sounds a lot like Michael Hutchence.
31. I know. But he killed himself and that's depressing. Plus I was just thinking about that new movie..uh, Halloween while you were on Intermission. You just told me you went as Michael Myers for Halloween once. That's ironic! How was that?
It was nice.
32. Did you have to wear your coat over your costume?
No.
33. Someone was spoiled.
You have no idea. I lived next to Warm Springs. It's a street in Boise that has a mile of the oldest houses in town and sometimes people would give whole candy bars to trick or treaters. Even better was that Warm Springs has such a reputation for trick or treating that very few people went down the side streets, so the few of us that did would get all the candy.
34. Again, someone was spoiled.
I also had two British sports cars and a Miata before I was 18.
35. That's it. By the way he's not even kidding. He showed me pictures of himself sitting in his British cars. That's it. We're having corn dog pizza.
That doesn't make any sense.
36. Neither does having all that candy, not having to wear your coat over your costume AND you had two British sports cars and a Miata before you were eighteen. Thus, some sort of corn dog product is going in my face today.
I'm okay with that.
37. GOOD. Now I want my corn dog. Everyone say goodbye to THE Michael as he rides off on his unicorn into the sunset.
I don't have a unicorn.
38. Liar.
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