Internet Dating on Plenty Offish: Part 3

This is the stupidest fucking site ever. EVAR.

I don't know if I'm just getting to the age where everyone in my peer group has pushed out puppies or if this site just attracts single people (a friend of mine says he used it and that the women were rife with children as well) with children and a prevalent "I've just given up on life in general" look in their eye but either way, this experiment is over. The three guys I didn't feel I needed rubber gloves and a face mask to email have either not responded or responded once and then wandered off into what I can only imagine are the depths of treasure awaiting them in the Plenty Offish universe. Right. Uh huh. Oh no they din't.

I do have a fish who, despite my repeatedly removing myself from his favorites list, keeps adding me to his favorites list. You'll remember him as Mr. List from Part 1. He's pretty much stalking me on Plenty Offish. Everyday I wake up and I get an email saying I've been put on someone's favorites list! Everyday I hope it's Mr. Hummus or Mr. Neighbor! Everyday it's Mr. List! How many times does a woman have to disappear off your favorites list before you get the point that she's probably not going to respond to you? Add that to the fact that you have not even attempted to email her and you're just plain being creepy. I'm apparently one of your favorite pictures on there. Man, am I blessed. Nothing makes me want to be the Special of the Day at Red Lobster like constantly removing myself from Mr. List's favorites. That, and the fact that I had such hopes for Mr. Hummus.

I just can't get a hang of this dating thing. Even for entertainment's sake.

Maybe the women on there are super dreamy but my friend says, "No." So, this says to me, Hey I have a running chance at beating these bottom feeders to the two or three gems I spot. But maybe there are a handful of women that are decent on there and they're all running after the same Mr.'s I am, a school of she-fish swimming upstream during mating season. The trouble is, I'm not a very good swimmer. I can doggy paddle and float pretty well but that's just not going to cut it.

Thus, I suppose I'll just swim around my tank aimlessly for awhile, crocheting and peering out the glass now and again at my inbox.

I'll let you know if anything happens.