Scrabbulous

Hey! It's one of those nights where I just don't sleep. It's not that I really mind them because I get writing done and I usually find something amusing in my attempts to entertain myself.

I should point out that these nights usually occur after I have driven myself NUTS with activity and doing things. These past two weeks would definitely qualify. I almost had a mental breakdown (not literally, folks, it's cool) yesterday, trying to cram eleventy billion things in the universe into the span of about eight hours. I finally had to start eliminating things that just weren't physically possible if the festival was going to happen and I was going to remain free from women's prison on several counts of homicide. I don't think women's prison is as sexy as guys think and I'm just not into butch chicks who want to trade cigarettes for sex, so I'm glad I just did what I could. I might point out, that I am also not into trading men things for sex either. One of my neighbors who was drunk once demanded that I life up my shirt when my friend and I were rough housing. I don't know him that well but I used to wait on him several years ago at a small restaurant and he kept saying stuff about never knowing his waitress was "like this." Ummmm. Your waitress? Okay. So, to cap, I don't trade women cigarettes in prison or out of prison for sexual favors and I don't lift my shirt for drunken neighbors or the male type.

Believe it or not I am getting to my point, which is, after leaving a bunch of annoying comments on my friends' pages, I was trolling around from Internet site to site looking at stupid shit because I knew if I got up and started reading I would just stare at the same page for seven hours. Just because I"m up doesn't mean I'm at a level of comprehension I am at during the day when I've had sleep. At this time, I was looking for some internet radio stations to listen to, which is sort of hard to sort through all the shit, and found what was possibly the most ridiculous piece of bizarro ever. It is www.freesoothingmusic.com. When you see it in the google list, you think..."Ahhh...that sounds nice, maybe it will help lull me to sleep."

Not only is it hideous music but some of the titles include the following:

Just Came Home? Cheer Up!"
"Memories of Those Lonely Days"
"We Say Wow Wow"
"Sadness"

And the "soothing" hits just keep coming!

There were some different links to click on such as: Sleeping Music, Dinner Music, etc. However, these are not additional playlists. If you click on them, they are just google links to sites where you can buy motorcycles and soothing crap like that. Possibly the funniest part or the most fucked up part was a little scrolling box saying these soothing sounds were just the start of this wonderful site! Soon to come were other genres, too like rap! And southern fried rock! They take requests, too and if it is available on the internet (cross your fingers) they will try and add it! Don't get your hopes up, though. I can never download music from the Internet. Nobody does that. That's like saying you can upload photos and post them on your friend's Myspace. Whatever. I'm just going to get on my hoverboard and zip on over to Michael J. Fox's house.

From there, I thought, maybe I would like to play an Internet game. I'm not into role playing....games. I hate solitaire because it's boring and I'm not good at cards anyway, except my brother is trying to long distance train me at Texas Hold 'Em and that's going alright. I found this Scrabble site, though, and was stoked because I love this wooden tiled game and generally whoop ass at it. Apparently, these people take it up a thousand notches and have quit their jobs to play Scrabble online day and night. I played one or two good games but they have you on this timer and this freaks me out. Scrabble is not a timed game. Bobby Fisher? We don't care where he went. At one point, I was playing some Australian who was giving me another reason to want to release the snakes again (the reasons just keep stacking up, man). This nerdalicious jerk went by the handle of scrabblesid and I had like 24 seconds left and I was trying to get my word together in time so I could earn some more seconds and points. scrabblesid chooses this point to become talkative in the little chat thinger and is thanking me profusely for giving him the highest score of his lifetime! Well, you have to answer or these dorks get pissed and ban you from the tables (gasp) so I am like, "you're welcome, whatever, blah blah" and he JUST KEEPS thanking me, emphasizing his thanks, trying, I think not to sound like a jerk but sounding like one and being a poor sport who is coming off like some sporto who just thanked me for the best blow job he ever had. I was thinking, in my head, "Quit sucking your own cock, asshole, I have 10 seconds to get the word hug up on the board!" I almost won against this chick with a really bad ranking but I lost by five points because she came up with a real humdinger that I really thought she made up. However, the site doesn't let you do that, so apparently it was a word. Although, I thought worl was a word. I guess not. I swear it is, but I am going to look it up. I swear they go against some regular Scrabble rules. So I call Shenaningans on this site on some accounts.