Mexican Prank Calls

What does this number mean? 410-210-9898

I have had phone calls from this number on two separate occasions.

I pick up the phone and some man rapid fires a very long speech in Spanish and then hangs up. My inadequate skills with the Spanish language do not allow me to keep up with what he is saying. I catch the words "solo" and "aqui" which I know mean, respectively, "alone" and "here." He is speaking too rapidly for me to even attempt to understand him or his intentions, though, and I am left, saying, "Que? Que?" after his prattle is over. But no, he is gone.

I am, as I write this, going to call the number back. I don't know what state this man is calling from or why he is calling me. He says something different every time. Okay, hold on. I will, of course blather on about what I find out.

I'm back.

I dialed the number and this is what I get. In English. "All circuits are busy now. Please try back later."

What is going on?! Did one of my weirdo friends sign me up for some Mexican Prank Call of the Month service during a drunken stupor? Why did the message woman answer in English? What sort of circuits are these? People screaming in Spanish in the ears of poor, unsuspecting girls just trying to enjoy a nice cloudy evening? This is a business that does this? Is this like in Punch Drunk Love where they are running a porn service out of a mattress store? I never called a porn line, especially not one run in Spanish. Is Phillip Seymour Hoffman going to send his goons to beat the shit out of me because I called the number back and am now blogging about the phone calls I have received?

Wait a tic! How did they even get my number? It's a private cell phone number. When I bought my new phone, I also made sure to change numbers so I could start fresh.

Why is it that I, of all people, am the brunt of Mexican Prank Calls? Not just one but multiple Mexican Prank Calls. I would think it was Neil and Adam calling me from Mexico because I did give them a partially used phone card to take with them on their vacation in case their debauchery landed them in some trouble and they needed to call home, but a)they don't know enough Spanish to pull off this level of prattling and b)they are safely back in Colorful Colorado and not in some sort of 410 area code. I know this because I just saw them and they both have classes and/or jobs to go to, as hilarious as they think this would be to pull off. Also they probably would do it to our friend Anthony, who did not get his passport in time to join them in Mexico, and not me. On their end, I am the brunt of Borat and pimp imitations, respectively.

All I know, is they had better have said something really good. If I am getting Mexican Prank Calls, then I don't want some lame-o telling me he wants me to get out of his dreams and into his car. If you are going to do it, do it right. At least waste my time with something that would make me want to punch you with a brick and pull your mustache under your crotch. I would at least respect your creativity.

Then I would ask you how much you make because that's a pretty awesome job.