Gioja and The Beautiful Music

I love talking to my friend Gioja.

Not only is she funny and interesting but we somehow seem to be on the same plane on a lot of things. I don't feel like such a square peg around her because she feels like a kindred spirit in so many ways.

We were talking about relationships recently. Gioja is recently married to a very wonderful man and I have just started seeing a very wonderful man. If you've read even a small amount of my writing, you, of course, know that this is something that I consider a gift.

As Gioja and I were talking, I was saying how time seems to be going by at a leisurely pace with my new beau. Nothing seems hurried and I don't question or overanalyze anything with him. It is what it is and I constantly find myself thinking, "Wow, that's so awesome he said that because that's exactly how I feel." Or vice versa. We were discussing something recently and he said, "Yeah, I was thinking about that, too." This makes me very happy that we are so aligned and on the same page, that I don't have to keep checking in and logging notes and pulling teeth and blah blah blah. It just works. The pieces fit. And so we are. However, on paper, one might scratch their head and say, "Well, gee, they're moving kind of fast." Sucks to them.

When I mentioned to Gioja how it seemed to be such a leisurely pace and yet in real time it really hadn't been that long, she said, "Yeah, I went over to Jared's house for the first time and from there I just kind of moved in." I can see her point. I grew up thinking there was this formula that everyone had to follow: boy asks girl on date, boy and girl date for at least 5 to 6 dates then go on weekend vacation, boy and girl are official couple, boy and girl start attending functions together as couple, boy and girl date more, (at this point a year has passed), boy and girl go on kind of large vacation together/move in together, boy and girl get animal such as dog or cat together, boy asks girl to marry him, girl flashes ring for year and annoys the hell out of friends but friends grin and bear it, relationship goes all to hell because girl thought ring was prize and didn't know marriage was the beginning not the end. This formula may work or seem to work a large part of the population. However, I think Gioja is onto something. She also prefaced her comment with, "Jared and I just skipped the whole dating thing." Not that they don't make time for date nights. They totally do and I think that's fantastic. They still "date" each other even though they are married. They court each other and basically think one another is the best thing since sliced bread. Possibly before that.

I think there is a part of the population that just doesn't fit into that stupid formula and we function just fine without it. Its deep-rooted presence in society, however, makes your life hell for years because why don't you fit into the formula? and where is your 90210 romance? and why don't the boys say yes when you ask them out, don't they like that? and why can't I find the right haircut or say the right thing? are all questions and ideals you grow up with and when it just doesn't work, you want to pull your hair out. When you finally meet the person you just fall in so easily with that you don't overanalyze things, spending time with them is not like a freakshow job interview and they don't belong in the annals of bad date blogdom. Instead, it's like Gioja put it. I just feel like I blinked and then there he was and now a bit of time has passed and I've adored every second of it.

Gioja and her husband make up 2/3 of the band The Green Typewriters (check out their Myspace page and definitely go to a show.) The other night I was at their house and they were just kind of jamming out and encouraged me to play with them even though I don't know how to play a musical instrument, yet. Their theory is that if you pick it up and play it, you might find a cool noise. I chose the xylophone. Whatever I sounded like, it didn't matter. I rocked that xylophone and I wasn't afraid of how I sounded. That's how I'm going into this relationship. I'm not taking any of my past rejections and projecting them onto this one. I'm going to rock it like I did that xylophone and see all the cool things that come out of it.

I'm making beautiful music and it's just going to keep on going.