What Women's Lib And Culinary Mastery Are Really All About

Now, I know what you're going to say. Where can I get that adult reproduction of Rainbow Brite's outfit? I know. It's pretty awesome. However, you're missing the point here. Did you read the top part of the ad where it took Marjorie Taylor 25 years to get up the courage to smoke in front of her husband and it took him 25 seconds to pack her bags? Holy smokes! Before I go any further, I have to say something about that man's packing abilities. Where is he when I travel? I could just casually light up a cigarette and all my shit would be packed. Nice! But I digress.

According to this ad, the Women's Liberation movement was not about getting the right to vote, working for equal pay, putting sexual harrassment policies into place, etc. It was about the right to smoke when and where you damn well please, even if it was in front of your husband. Although, technically, your husband can still pack your bags in 25 seconds if that is the dealbreaker in a 25 year marriage. Talk about ironic! 25 years to work up the courage and that's the exact amount of time it takes for him to pack your bags! That's kicking you when you're down! I wonder what he would have down if you'd downed some Old Crow and packed up some chaw? Oh, save that for the next one. Maybe he'll be slower and you can put your Virginia Slim out on his face.




The start-up cash was financed by one of their son's appearances on America's Funniest Home Videos, which won $3000. I was probably watching. Prepare yourself. It's pretty...*cough*



These guys claim "everything" should taste like bacon. Bacon Salt is Kosher and vegans can eat it, too. So if they just can't get that hankerin' for bacon out of their mind, here's the easy solution! Sprinkle this on their tofu and they gots bacon! You can put it on steak, corn, toast, eggs, pizza, soup, waffles, burgers, shrimp, chicken, pumpkin pie, corn dogs, spaghetti, meatloaf, falafels, tamales, burritos, sub sandwiches, quiche, cookies, fondue, baked potatoes, fish, pudding; heck, put it on bacon!

Imagine something right now. ___________ You can put it on that!! I don't care if you imagined someone's hat! You could even use it in the bedroom! Sprinkle it on your lover's back and lick it up. He or she tastes like bacon!! Who hasn't been in the middle of foreplay and had their mind wander off to a nice strip of bacon? Now that doesn't have to happen. A few shakes of Bacon Salt and you get the best of both worlds.

And then afterwards, you can light up a Virginia Slim. Because you've come a long way, baby.