I Love Thee Sidewok Cafe

I love driving in new places and seeing the businesses that line the streets. It's one of the best parts of getting out of town. A lot of them can be really creative, especially in small towns. However, my favorite one as of late happens to exist in a suburb of Denver, Lakewood. When I first saw it, I was also trying to navigate directionally and so I was looking to turn left on Sheridan off of Colfax (notorious for being one of the longest streets in America...although the hookers aren't as obvious as people like to the say they are. In fact local favorites like the Denver Diner and other such post concert and last stop, after late night drinking, eateries also populate its lineup. However it's also lined with oddly named hotels and "saunas" and there are normal things like car dealerships and liquor stores too. So it's not all seedy) and almost wrecked my car laughing when I saw none other than the Sidewok Cafe.



Upon arriving to my location, I swore up and down that the Shuffle Inn was located directly across the street from it. I was informed, to my dismay, the Shuffle Inn was actually just down the street and was actually a bar, not a seedy by the hour motel and has been closed for some time. When I left Lakewood, I realized this was true. It was still a little cool though that the Sidewok Cafe was by the Shuffle Inn. I still wanted it to be a seedy motel across the street from my beloved Sidewok Cafe. If it had been, I would have definitely made someone take a series of pictures of me "shuffling" into the Sidewok Cafe from the Shuffle Inn.

Not that there isn't a string of priceless no tell motels along this part of Colfax or any part of Colfax. They are hilarious. The decor is great too. Seriously. If I wasn't afraid of getting poked in the ass with a used needle or finding a hooker sewn into a mattress or the fact that I know of the existence of Luminol and occasionally think of it and what it reveals when I stay away from home, I might stay in one of these places on a lark and go eat at the Sidewok Cafe. Also they are all just around the corner from a perfectly clean place to stay that is home to a Sleep Number mattress which I delight in clicking down to a five on one side so it practically dumps you out onto the floor. There certainly is an ass crater in the morning and I tend to slide down to the bottom of the bed so I'm thinking of upping the number. There's a reason they have that commercial with the couple who likes to experiment though. You have to figure these things out. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was your sleep number. I'm also pretty sure I haven't heard any hookers screaming as I mess with the remote and squash the shit out of the mattress.

The Sidewok Cafe is a source of fascination for me. I pass by it constantly and I'm disappointed they don't have breakfast or just a snack bar. It's always bad timing. I admit I kind of want to put my hand out the window and reach my hand out and reach toward it in an effort to connect in some way. Does it know how loved it is? I'm a little nervous people don't appreciate it like I do. I've never even eaten there but I just know it's fantastic. It's most certainly dim and weird. All the Myspace surveys I've taken invariably ask if I believe in love in first sight. I always say no, that it takes time to cultivate love. In this case I have to recant my answer. I loved the Sidewoke Cafe from the moment I nearly swerved into oncoming traffic at the sight of it.

I'm damn well making a point to eat there next week the night before I leave for the mountains.

Sidewok Cafe, it won't be long before you and I are together. Stay strong.