Eye Brain Connection With Time Machine

Time Machine - Funny videos are here

So I don't think the movie "The Shining" is actually about a haunted hotel.

I have been cooped up for a couple days in my apartment with nothing but my writing, my cats (who can be as peevesome as Shelly Duvall and that little boy) and a sinus infection or chest cold. I don't know which and frankly, I haven't crossed out the possibility that it could be both. I have a little more sympathy for Jack Nicholson in that movie now. Frankly, I think he was just overstimulated creatively and alternatively bored out of his skull.

I'm not going to lie. I've had some strange thoughts sitting here in my sweatpants, sriped knee socks and a bejeweled butterfly hair clip. Okay maybe I don't want to kill people and hack through doors but my hair does look a little crazy. And I did seriously consider purchasing something called the Eye Brain Connection. On any other given day, I would be against this big-brother sounding item. But tonight I am open to it. Hey, it could be the wave of the future. But wait, isn't my eye already connected to my brain? This is considerably less cool than it sounds. It's actually a speed reading program for your computer. I can already do that and I did it the old fashioned way-by reading books. However, if you are interested, you get 200 classic books on cd or dvd (my tv is on mute because the world series was on earlier) and your gift with purchase is an ACTUAL book. A fabulously illustrated copy of "The Time Machine." So, to recap, what I saw when I glanced up just now was that I could get the Eye Brain Connection for $14.95 with a free Time Machine. Talk about a let down.

Another thing I thought long and hard about was where my neighbor with the big dog went. Seriously, in the next building there used to be this HUGE dog and its owners walked it everyday. I have been here for 48 hours straight, not counting the trip out for a meatball sub and cup of tea, and I haven't seen them once! Maybe the dog ate the owners and is just pooping them out all over their apartment because they are no longer there to walk him. Then I think that if he is strong enough to overpower them, then he could probably open the door to get out and poop. So maybe he is just really disgusting and enjoys pooping indors.

I have also learned a lot. For instance, my cat Charles enjoys sitting in the dish drainer and reaching up to play with the key to my windup robot. Hmm. Interesting. Normally he just knocks magnets off the fridge in fits of Pavlovian food rage in the morning. I suppose I will be dragging my ass out to Target tomorrow, illness or not, to get a new dish drainer and coming up with a system to keep him and his butt out of it.

Well, I'm sure if I stayed up a little later I'd come up with even better ideas involving robots built out of the entire case of tofu someone gave me (can you say trash?) and is still sitting in my fridge. However, I shall say goodnight.

Sleep tight.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.