Monday, July 21, 2008

Old People Are About To Get Older



blubeard11: hey neighbor
Wendy York: hey...do you live in my building?
blubeard11: I don't know
blubeard11: all I know is you live in greeley with me
blubeard11: where do you live in town?
Wendy York: near the university
blubeard11: im near the mall, U?
blubeard11: well u in college ?
Wendy York: no
blubeard11: your profile says your not looking ?? why not?
blubeard11: you get to meet all sorts of neat guys online
Wendy York: oh i know.
blubeard11: I just turned 47 don't know what im looking for
Wendy York: that's why i'm not looking
blubeard11: im off college for the summer, just kicking back with some beers and swimming in the pool
Wendy York: you're in college?
blubeard11: yes
blubeard11: I have 8 more classes and I graduate
Wendy York: congratulations
blubeard11: for an associates degree and a few computer certificates
Wendy York: and what will you be doing after college, young man?
blubeard11: then its more classes at aims, then last year online at a 4 year college
Wendy York: and then?
Wendy York: what then?
blubeard11: well should get a good job in IT
Wendy York: should?
blubeard11: well the market should be better by then
Wendy York: you've got to have a plan in this high paced world
Wendy York: the market?
Wendy York: what's that got to do with it?
blubeard11: well running a server / servers is a good paying job
Wendy York: yes but it's competitive
blubeard11: the job market
Wendy York: it's going to get more competitive
blubeard11: yes and I have a better chance getting into a job with a ba than an assoc.
Wendy York: you've got all these whippersnappers to contend with too
blubeard11: well I hope to get some experence as im going to college
Wendy York: yes but ...i hate to say it. companies are ageist
blubeard11: companies are aganst what
Wendy York: ageist
Wendy York: they are ageist
Wendy York: always have been
blubeard11: well older people are more apt to stay with a company instead of looking for a better one
blubeard11: like the younger crowd does
blubeard11: so what do you do for a living
blubeard11: ???????
Wendy York: true. and i'm not trying to discourage you but they will have to pay you a 401k a lot sooner than freshy fresh spring chicken over there.
Wendy York: i am a visual artist and a writer
blubeard11: that's an interesting job
Wendy York: you have NO idea
blubeard11: nope, ive worked for binderies and mailing houses, not for the printers
Wendy York: i don't work for printers
blubeard11: ok
Wendy York: well kind of
Wendy York: i am a slave to my photo printers
Wendy York: i have experience in binding too
Wendy York: it's kind of a bitch
blubeard11: binderies don't pay that much unless you run the machines
Wendy York: oh i worked for a large corporation that merged with a shipping company
blubeard11: cool
Wendy York: then one day i was trying to manually bind something with a wooden cover and it was the last straw
blubeard11: ive mostly worked for mom and pop shops
Wendy York: and i walked out
Wendy York: so why the career change?
blubeard11: ive always been good with computers
Wendy York: why didn't you become a massage therapist?
Wendy York: i hear that's a big field
blubeard11: don't have the wrists for it
Wendy York: but you have to have wrists for computer work.....?
Wendy York: you're going to get carpal tunnel syndrome
Wendy York: and you won't be able to hold your beers
blubeard11: well hopfully I wont have to do much typing
Wendy York: um.
Wendy York: so do you magically meld things?
Wendy York: are you uri geller?!!!
blubeard11: lol nope
Wendy York: right. he worked with spoons and was a fake anyway
blubeard11: ok
Wendy York: what if you took an online course in medical billing?
Wendy York: you could work from home
blubeard11: ive done medical billing before
Wendy York: why did you leave that?! i hear that's a cash cow!
Wendy York: you can work in your underpants!
blubeard11: it was for a mom and pop shop
blubeard11: they didn't have the machines
Wendy York: what machine?
blubeard11: to insert the bill into the envelope
Wendy York: that's just stupid
blubeard11: I know how to run those
Wendy York: it sounds like these mom and pop shops are screwing you over
Wendy York: they're holding you back
blubeard11: yes, they don't pay much
Wendy York: you could have all the cash
blubeard11: that's why im going for IT
Wendy York: no man.
Wendy York: you just need to start your own business with the medical billing
Wendy York: get the machine
Wendy York: work at 2 am if you want
blubeard11: that's an expensive machine
Wendy York: well then hire some kid to lick the envelopes
Wendy York: they're machines anyway
blubeard11: lol
Wendy York: what?
Wendy York: they are
Wendy York: they have unending energy
Wendy York: harness it
blubeard11: I get bills from doctors all the time, they farm it out to the mailing companys to insert the bill into the envelope
Wendy York: well you don't NEED the machine
Wendy York: see! i just saved you tons of money and you don't have to have a kid around
blubeard11: I don't know who needs medical billing, they all seem to have it covered
Wendy York: no! they don't! it's blowing up!
Wendy York: sick people are everywhere
Wendy York: people are sicker than ever before
blubeard11: ill look into medical billing
Wendy York: yeah. old people are about to get older
blubeard11: don't know of any hospital looking for help in that area
Wendy York: no. doctor's offices
blubeard11: I used to look up icd-9 codes for billing of the patient
Wendy York: iced tea 9?
blubeard11: hot pack, massage, etc ... has icd 9 codes
blubeard11: that's medical coding
Wendy York: see. you're already trained
Wendy York: you just need to find out how to find contracts.
blubeard11: well I don't have the icd-9 book to code from
Wendy York: you're just all over the place
Wendy York: you can buy them. they're 63.95.
Wendy York: you should do it
blubeard11: why don't you do it, if it is that great
Wendy York: because i'm an artist
blubeard11: then maybe we can go into business together
Wendy York: uh. i'm a loner. a rebel. you don't want to get mixed up with me.
blubeard11: even loners need company now and again
blubeard11: lol
Wendy York: no they don't. that's the definition of a loner.
Wendy York: i can order everything from the intraweb
Wendy York: the least amount of contact with the rest of the population the better
Wendy York: unless they happen to be a cowboy
Wendy York: a real one
Wendy York: i need to talk to one of those
Wendy York: but i digress
blubeard11: hummmm tight pointy shoes, tight pants, big belt buckle, ill pass, but im still a nice guy
Wendy York: do you ride the range?
Wendy York: on a horse?
Wendy York: do you lasso things?
blubeard11: no, I have rode a horse before
Wendy York: but is it your JOB?
blubeard11: nope
Wendy York: ok
blubeard11: you want you a rich cowboy
Wendy York: no.
Wendy York: it's for research purposes
Wendy York: cowboys don't tend to be rich
Wendy York: also they are loners
blubeard11: oh, sorry don't know of anyone that has that job title
Wendy York: it's cool
Wendy York: you just walk YOUR line and you will be alright
blubeard11: true
Wendy York: stay away from the mom and pop shops. they appear nice and quaint but they are just out to bamboozle you with their lack of envelope machines
Wendy York: who does that? how do they operate?
Wendy York: sickies
blubeard11: well they also teach you more than one maching to run making you more in demand for the company
blubeard11: that's the only good they have going for them
Wendy York: at the mom and pop shop? you're in demand at the "company?"
blubeard11: I cant stand 8 hours a day anymore. that's why I picked a sit down job, one with computers
Wendy York: do you have glasses?
blubeard11: no
Wendy York: prepare to get them
blubeard11: I only need glasses for fine print
Wendy York: nope. eye strain is in your future, mr.
Wendy York: it will start with squinting
blubeard11: pop a few asprin and good to go
blubeard11: lol
Wendy York: you can't fix eyes with aspirin
Wendy York: who told you that? mom and pop?
blubeard11: no. you get migraines from squining, that's what the asprin is for
Wendy York: yes and then after that you need glasses
Wendy York: that's what happened to me in the third grade
blubeard11: dang
blubeard11: are you a hottie even with glasses ?
Wendy York: i normally wear glasses
blubeard11: nothing wrong with that
Wendy York: no
Wendy York: i buy the sample glasses at dr's offices to wear over my contacts for accessories sometimes
Wendy York: sometimes i just wear contacts
blubeard11: that's cool
Wendy York: again. i digress
Wendy York: america's best is a good place to go
Wendy York: if you don't have eye insurance
Wendy York: just so you have things to think about if you're going to be staring at computers all day
Wendy York: it's inevitable
blubeard11: yep
Wendy York: okay.
Wendy York: to recap
Wendy York: what's the plan?
blubeard11: go to college for medical billing
Wendy York: i thought you already knew it?
blubeard11: find contacts who need medical billing
blubeard11: start own business
Wendy York: roll around in cash
blubeard11: ill check into it, I don't know how big of a need that there is, but ill check
Wendy York: there's a HUGE need
Wendy York: you're going to think "thank god i talked to that artist!"
blubeard11: ill check into it
blubeard11: I can do it part time while going to college
Wendy York: you need more of a "can do" attitude
Wendy York: there you go
Wendy York: now off into the world with a fresh face!
blubeard11: so why are you not doing it parttime
Wendy York: i don't have time to do it and i'm an artist
Wendy York: and a writer
Wendy York: no interest
Wendy York: remember?
blubeard11: no interest in making the big cash?
Wendy York: how do you know i'm NOT making the big cash?
Wendy York: you know what happens when we assume?
blubeard11: yes
Wendy York: consider that a lesson learned.
Wendy York: except you didn't make an ass out of me.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Manners and Mr. Trunks




Note: This took place before my name change in case of any confusion.

montanamountainman39: hi
Wendy Liddell: hi
montanamountainman39: what u up too
Wendy Liddell: flipping through a magazine
montanamountainman39: cool
montanamountainman39: am just relaxing in the hottub on my deck
Wendy Liddell: my magazine would get wet in there
montanamountainman39: yes
Wendy Liddell: i just got it so i shouldn’t get in
montanamountainman39: sure get in
montanamountainman39: my neibor lady is watching me from her back window
Wendy Liddell: but i have this magazine
Wendy Liddell: do you want me to wave to her?
montanamountainman39: sure
Wendy Liddell: *waves*
montanamountainman39: she reading the paper
montanamountainman39: i have my swimming trunks on
Wendy Liddell: man what a bitch. she didn’t wave back
Wendy Liddell: *shakes fist*
montanamountainman39: should i tease her
Wendy Liddell: no
Wendy Liddell: i have a better idea
montanamountainman39: what
Wendy Liddell: do you have a lighter?
montanamountainman39: nope
Wendy Liddell: crap
montanamountainman39: why is that
Wendy Liddell: oh i found one in my purse!
Wendy Liddell: yes!
Wendy Liddell: follow me over by the fence
montanamountainman39: okay
Wendy Liddell: act really casual
Wendy Liddell: like we’re going to say hi
montanamountainman39: okay
Wendy Liddell: but run as soon as i do
Wendy Liddell: what’s her name?
montanamountainman39: idont no
montanamountainman39: never met her
Wendy Liddell: okay i’ll just say ma’am
Wendy Liddell: let’s go! *strolls over to the fence*
Wendy Liddell: "hello, ma’am, how’s your morning going?"
Wendy Liddell: she’s totally NOT answering me!
Wendy Liddell: whore!
montanamountainman39: yes
Wendy Liddell: "let me warm up that coffee for you!"
Wendy Liddell: *lights magazine on fire and throws it onto womans newspaper*
Wendy Liddell: RUN!
montanamountainman39: your mean
Wendy Liddell: dude no i’m not
Wendy Liddell: she’s impolite!
montanamountainman39: am going to stnd up and take mr trunks off
montanamountainman39: tease her
Wendy Liddell: that’s mean AND impolite
Wendy Liddell: *lights pubic hair on fire*
montanamountainman39: what
Wendy Liddell: stop drop and roll!
Wendy Liddell: do it!
Wendy Liddell: you’re going to get really burned!
Wendy Liddell: mr. trunks is going to catch fire!
montanamountainman39: my trunks are off now
Wendy Liddell: thank goodness, mr. trunks!
montanamountainman39: now what u want me to do
Wendy Liddell: well you need some sort of moisture on there. you let that fire go pretty long
Wendy Liddell: *applies some Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean lotion to burned area*
Wendy Liddell: there!
Wendy Liddell: sorry i know that stings
Wendy Liddell: but i don’t have anything unscented
Wendy Liddell: but now you smell like a burned cookie!
montanamountainman39: will u apply for me
Wendy Liddell: again?
montanamountainman39: what
Wendy Liddell: I already put a massive amount on your burn
montanamountainman39: rub it around little bit for me
Wendy Liddell: it’s going to hurt...
montanamountainman39: thats okay
Wendy Liddell: oh shit
Wendy Liddell: some skin just came off
Wendy Liddell: um
Wendy Liddell: this is really awkward
Wendy Liddell: but...where do you want this?
Wendy Liddell: *holds bit of skin out*
montanamountainman39: rub it all over
Wendy Liddell: the burned skin?!!!
Wendy Liddell: that came off?!!
Wendy Liddell: okay...i guess..
montanamountainman39: where ever u wnat too
Wendy Liddell: so you like being rubbed with your own burned skin?
Wendy Liddell: *rubs you with your own burned skin*
montanamountainman39: with lotion
Wendy Liddell: okay i’ll put lotion on it
Wendy Liddell: *puts lotion on piece of burned skin and rubs you with it*
montanamountainman39: feels good
Wendy Liddell: *looks away and tries to think of kittens*
montanamountainman39: feels good
Wendy Liddell: *hums*
montanamountainman39: rub the head too okay
Wendy Liddell: *rubs my head*
Wendy Liddell: isn’t my hair pretty?
montanamountainman39: yes
montanamountainman39: feels good
Wendy Liddell: i just washed it
Wendy Liddell: you should smell it
montanamountainman39: okay
montanamountainman39: smells good
Wendy Liddell: what does it smell like?
montanamountainman39: strawberry
Wendy Liddell: that’s so weird! i wash it with strawberry and yogurt puree!
montanamountainman39: does my burn look better
Wendy Liddell: *throws piece of burned skin in hot tub*
Wendy Liddell: uh...
montanamountainman39: take a closer look
Wendy Liddell: you should keep an eye on it
montanamountainman39: it need more lotion
Wendy Liddell: you don’t want to irritate it
Wendy Liddell: especially since it’s not the right kind of ointment
Wendy Liddell: it’s all i had in my purse
montanamountainman39: what kind is it
Wendy Liddell: *shows you bottle of Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean Lotion*
Wendy Liddell: remember when I said you smelled like a burned cookie?
montanamountainman39: yes
Wendy Liddell: this is why!
montanamountainman39: rub the head of my cock little bit
Wendy Liddell: you should pay attention
Wendy Liddell: *grabs a branch and whips you on your burn*
Wendy Liddell: i’m taking mr. trunks and going home
montanamountainman39: okay
Wendy Liddell: unless you can use your manners
montanamountainman39: u dont want to take a tub with me
Wendy Liddell: i don’t have room for a tub in my car
montanamountainman39: take off your clothes and jump in her with me
Wendy Liddell: no thanks. i found another magazine to read
Wendy Liddell: mr. trunks and i are going to go.
Wendy Liddell: you want to come get some ice cream with us?
montanamountainman39: bring it back to me
Wendy Liddell: no way. you didn’t even say please
Wendy Liddell: we’re going
Wendy Liddell: you can come or stay here
Wendy Liddell: your choice
Wendy Liddell: we’re getting sprinkles...
montanamountainman39: am going to go watch a movie
Wendy Liddell: ok fine.
Wendy Liddell: we’ll be at the ice cream parlour if you need us
montanamountainman39: all thins talk got me worked up
Wendy Liddell: yeah you need to settle down
Wendy Liddell: watching that movie might help
montanamountainman39: i need to go relieve some tention
Wendy Liddell: ok take a nap and we’ll go get some ice cream
Wendy Liddell: see you later burned alligator
montanamountainman39: would u like to join me
Wendy Liddell: no thanks i’m getting ice cream with mr. trunks
montanamountainman39: okay
Wendy Liddell: i have a previous engagement
Wendy Liddell: it wouldn’t be polite to break it
montanamountainman39: with who
Wendy Liddell: mr. trunks
montanamountainman39: your funny
Wendy Liddell: what?
Wendy Liddell: manners are not funny
montanamountainman39: okay have fun
Wendy Liddell: i take them very seriously
Wendy Liddell: enjoy your nap
montanamountainman39: i need to go rub one out
montanamountainman39: have u cum yet the morning
Wendy Liddell: yes i’m here aren’t i?
Wendy Liddell: *puts hand over mouth*
Wendy Liddell: do you have short term memory loss?
Wendy Liddell: i’m so sorry
Wendy Liddell: you have a MASSAGE scheduled
Wendy Liddell: AND a NAP
montanamountainman39: yes
montanamountainman39: u wnat to massage me
Wendy Liddell: no, dear, i’m not the massage therapist
Wendy Liddell: i’m the one who made you smell like a burned cookie
Wendy Liddell: someone else is going to rub you out
Wendy Liddell: ok?
Wendy Liddell: mr. trunks and i are going for ice cream
Wendy Liddell: you were going to watch a movie
Wendy Liddell: get a massage
Wendy Liddell: and take a nap
montanamountainman39: yes
Wendy Liddell: excellent
Wendy Liddell: sounds like a good day
Wendy Liddell: mr. trunks and i will talk to you later on the telephone
Wendy Liddell: it will ring
Wendy Liddell: you pick it up
Wendy Liddell: okay?
montanamountainman39: okay
Wendy Liddell: okay
Wendy Liddell: good
Wendy Liddell: talk to you then
montanamountainman39: okay
Wendy Liddell: *waves as door closes*


Note: I never gave this dork my phone number.